Response
Response
Individuals judge the listening ability of others by their responses. Thus, responding in socially appropriate ways may enhance the communication flow, whether responding inappropriately is likely to affect communication adversely. Appropriate listening responses are an important component of listening and actually do enhance our listening skills. Positive listening behaviors include, when appropriate, signaling to let the speaker know that we are attentive, demonstrating by our behavior and demeanor that we are listening. It is important to keep in mind, however, that socially appropriate responses may vary across individuals and cultures. Learning new ways of responding works wonders in enhancing communication skills. Recognizing your own levels of comfort is also important. Expanding your range of response behaviors should work within the behavioral range of what is comfortable for you; otherwise, your responsive behavior might be perceived as forced and artificial.
One of the most common ways of signaling attention is through nonverbal communication. Brownell (2006) identifies the following nonverbal behaviors as behaviors that will say “I’ll listen”:
- Direct eye contact.
- Smiling.
- Nodding.
- Eyes wide open.
- Forward lean.
- Positive facial expression.
The following behaviors impede effective communication:
- Stare
- Yawn.
- Looking away
- Nervous habits, fidgeting.
- Shaking head negatively.
- Moving away from speaker.
- Negative facial expression, such as frowning or pouting.
- Crossed arms.
Some other appropriate listening responses include:
- Paraphrasing, re-wording what the speaker has said and mirroring the message in your own words. An example would be, in the case of a student stating “My professor makes me feel as if I were invisible!” to respond by stating, “I hear you feel that you feel your professor does not listen to you.” Paraphrasing reduces miscommunication, coaxes listeners away from an ego-centered vision by forcing him or her to concentrate on the speaker, and helps listeners remember on the speakers’ message. Paraphrasing is also an excellent memory aid, helping the mind remember important information through repetition.
- Open questions are questions that do not require a yes or no answer. Yes or no answers reduce our opportunities to gain important information. On the other hand, because they open doors to communication, open questions are ideal for active listening behaviors, such as emphatic listening and therapeutic listening. One example would be to ask “What is it that you like about your work?” rather than “Do you like your work?”
- Paralinguistics. Modulate your elocution. The way you sound to others, that is, the volume, pitch and speed rate of your speech is affected by emotion and may alter the listeners’ perception of your intended message. Keep calm and practice maintaining an adequate and balanced tone of voice.
- Offering constructive feedback. Feedback should be provided as soon as possible and be descriptive, not judgmental. Effective feedback is clear, specific, and does not focus on personal characteristics. Rather than state “Sue, your presentation was great” it would be preferable to say, “Sue, what I liked most about your presentation was how well-organized it was and the way the graphics helped clarify the quantitative data.”
Indeed, Brownell (2006) suggests that the most constructive response would be a response that demonstrated that you had listened to the other person’s viewpoint and considered it carefully. A response which is also personal would be most satisfactory especially if it were also clear, respectful, and honest (283).
